Vague Thoughts With Anu

This guy walks into a bar…

When you’re ordering a drink and a guy starts talking to you, is he hitting on you? What if he is just making polite conversation? But it’s a bar/restaurant/grill and there’s no dire need to make polite conversation. Can you safely assume that he’s hitting on you? Or does that make you a self-centered douche?

I have low enough self-esteem to want to impress my unwanted, so-called suitors because, well, I want to prove to this guy that I’m worthy of his affections. But one witty retort isn’t enough. What if he keeps going and I can’t keep up? What if my one liners don’t satisfy him and HE stops pursuing ME?

What’s worse than never being hit on is having the guy hitting on you stop hitting on you because you have clearly disappointed his extremely high hopes that you’re witty and fun and that cute little thing you do with your eyebrows isn’t actually a compulsive twitch you have when you think no one is looking in hopes it will offset the premature wrinkling that’s happening on your forehead.

To all men at bars: if I say one smart, caustic thing, just trust that I have a whole butt load of them in my arsenal and you’re just going to have to get to know me to figure that out.

Also, I have a boyfriend and I’m not interested.